So something that's been tugging at me recently, especially when I have had a minute or two away from my busy west point schedule has been my (lack of) spiritual life. Maybe it was easier in high school/ growing up to connect with God because my family members are such great followers of Christ, always giving him credit and seeking to follow Him no matter what. Even when I temporarily lost my way, someone was there to remind me to "pray about it" or "bring that concern to God".
At school I flat out forget about t spiritual life. Thank God for those few cadets that do openly share their faith, or else I'd probably be totally derailed by now. My last semester roommate Aaron Jacobson was that reminder this past year for me. We for back to playing Christian Music aloud just for fun. He encouraged me to go back to church on post (something I completely dropped upon starting plebe year), but most importantly he left his Bible open all the time on his desk. Because my closet was right next to his desk, I'd often find myself checking out what book & verses he was currently reading with nothing more than passing interest. But God was planting a seed that would come back.
On our bike trip back from Niagara Falls, one of the most significant things we did was visit Joseph Smith's hometown of Palmyra, where God revealed himself and the Church of Latter Day Saints was founded. Now, regardless of my beliefs, the guided tour through the village, walking through the sacred Grove, seeing the famous Hill Camoura as well as the brand new Mormon Temple was enough to get me thinking about my own faith, why I believe in Christ and how I can better display my Christian values to guide my life decisions.
The day before I returned to West Point this summer, I randomly picked up my old Bible from back in the day. I found it in the same old green case, with the same tabbed books separated the easy-to-read Young Persons' Bible that infest read about Abraham, Moses, David and all the other heroes of the bible in. Flipping through the book, God was begging me to take it with me and go through it again, but i once again brushed that tugging aside, leaving it on the dusty shelf in the basement where I found it. I returned to West Point Bible-less. "Reading the Bible won't fit in to
MY plan" I thought, "
MY schedule will be too busy". Besides, everything was going well, why would I turn to God when Life's good? "I Don't need God's intervention right now, it can wait..." Oh how wrong that thought process proved to be, and only after a month of struggling can I really look back and say "God, you offered me a chance & missed it."
This past month at West Point I completed my Leadership Detail, the final required summer training block I needed to check in order to graduate next May. I dove straight into my job as Transient Company Company, putting in place a system that 4 total cadre could house, account for and take care any need for over 400 cadets at any given time. Looking back, I am still very proud of the body of work my small team accomplished, but I faced the largest struggle I have taken on as well. From the start, I had big-time issues working with my TAC officer. He was new to West Point, aggressive by nature, coming in with no idea how to interact with cadets, what his position of TAC officer encompassed or any respect for the work my team and I were putting in. I am pretty sure I will never be able to walk down the north-area side of MAC short 3rd floor without getting a sick feeling in my stomach, dreading just the thought of entering that man's office. Each day the situation just mounted and got worse. I left West Point with no closure to the situation; I think the circumstances will eat at me for a while. Needless to say, I did not turn to God in any of this. I took on the storm alone, refusing to ask for guidance,4 like Jonah as he sat in the Belly of a Whale for 3 days!
The plot thickened when God placed a new Bible in my hands. While clearing the barracks wary in our detail, we found Alot of gear left behind, & we did our best to leave it as lost & found or return it to its owner. This one Bible, however, appeared to never have been used. Titled "God's Game Plan", this Bible is tailored to athletes & has great supplemental material for reflection. I flipped through it briefly, intrigued, but we left it sitting in lost & found for weeks. At the end of my detail this Friday, as I packed up, I noticed this Bible again. By this point I had no where else to turn; God was telling me to give his word another shot. I thank God everyday for not giving up on stubborn people like me, I truly do, because he's made Himself so apparent to me at times it's ridiculous that I still struggle with (or ignore) my faith as often as I do.
In the end, I've decided to make it a habit to read this Bible and fill out one of the activities every day while here in Boulder. I'm also planning on going to church with Tony this weekend at Flatirons Church which I am very excited about, it's great seeing Tony in his element back here in Boulder!
Well, now that I've got that off my chest, I look forward to updating my blog/ Facebook daily with my training.. Check back soon for a day 1 recap! Oh, and please ask me if you'd like any particular pictures posted, any of my rambling explained further, etc, because I really want to share my journey as best I can! Thanks again
-Brian
